Cave of Colors, Sea of Enchantments, Valley of Music

so life has been a whirlwind.

i haven't been on in a while

i recently spent a week in the behavioral(s/p) hospital

i'm psyco

but am much better now

might do a real update soon.

It has been a time since I have been here... So much has gone on and I know i'm not going to take the time to put it all in here... I am still on new various medication and some of it is working... sooon though I'm going to find out if I have Crohn's Disease... yuck!

Kathiryn is growing so fast... Reuben is now in preschool and he is half-way potty trained! Anywho i'm 26 today... and here are some pics... enjoy.

I will be an official consultant very soon today. Once I get my kit in, i'll be looking for some of you to host some parties!! They even have web parties now too. It would be so much fun!

ok enough commercial. I can not type today.

My sis-in-law recently joined the airforce. She was there for about a week, when her foot started acting up. It is a foot she had had surgery on. Anyway they told her she would not be able to stay in the af. So they kept her for over a week in the psyc ward!! AND they are not claiming any responsibility. I thought when you had a physical done they checked your history... Grandma and I are going to Oprah! Anyway she is home! yay! i'm so glad she is home and ok.

Reuben threw 3 seperate fits this morning where he ran around fussing and trhowing toys... then he would stop abruptly, sigh and say... "That wore me out!"

He's a nut! Kathiryn is gorgeous and her hair is going to be red!! yay!

Reuben and I and Aunt Kristi went to the zoo. All Reuben wanted to do was turn the "steering wheel" you know the penny presser thing. He made some pennies. He made one for "momma" ... "pretty momma" as he said it. It made me feel so good!

Other than all this good news i need to burp.

It is 3am and I am awake!! dang!

Kathiryn I think is going to start sleeping 6-7hours though... so that is good... on a bad side, Reuben is not going to sleep till 11pm or later... He is so much like me. He has a hard time settling down to sleep. He is so good though. He stays in the bed and just tosses and turns. Poor little fart.

We had our first scrap-book meeting today... it was great! Oh Meg, I forgot to tell you, but anyway we will be meeting every Tuesday at 6. I got 3 pages done tonight!! That is more than I've done in over a year. I'm so excited about it.

My Mary Kay Team Leader is going to help me get my kit etc. Monday night she is going to do a training session. I get to invite 5 or 6 people to come and have a facial/cleansing class and basically all the sales will go to me. yay! I have been using my products... I am loving my face. It feels so smooth and it looks so pretty. I can't wait to buy some make-up. I'm actually taking care with my appearance and I feel pretty. heh... ok mayeb I'll get some z's now... sighs

These are all pics of me... right after my Mary Kay make-over... I'm lovin it!

please comment!! lol

I am getting so close with Frances. I can feel myself trying so ard to soak up every minute. I have been missing out on so much, not having a mom. Tonight when Reuben was crying because he didn't want to leave Nana and pops house ... I felt the same way. Isn't that pathetic... heh.

ah

Sunday best...

ohhh ahhh

Church was good. You know it has been one of those days were you just want to laugh and smile cause you just feel good... even though things aren't all good... they still are. I love my family more everyday. I'm so lucky to have all that I have.

Well, I'm trying to upload the pics... crud.

Anyway in other news. I'm going to start selling Mary Kay!! Yay! Come and get some... it is a miracle worker on the face.

ok

Is'nt this a great pic of me and Reuben!

He is so cute.

Doesn't he just give you all kinds of warm and gushy feelings inside!

This last one is actually my favorite. When we got to the counter he started to unload his wagon like such a grown-up. It was adorable.

ok I hope everyone is smiling today.

I like these 2 pics.

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I especially like my profile in the last one.

So my blood pressure was up 142/98. which is high for my normal 100/60. Anyway it is from pain and my medicine. so now I will be taking a water pill. Plus upping the dose of prednisone. She also prescribed Ambien, and told me to stop worrying so much about taking my pain meds. If i'm hurting to take them, and it would be ok if I have to take them regularly for awhile until i'm over this flair. So I got another script for Lortabs.

So my medicine regimen is now...

Some water pill
Prednisone
Lortabs
Ambien
Baby Asprin
Calcium
Effexor XR
Esgic-plus

blah.

I also have a blue mole growth thing that i've had for years. She mentioned getting it checked for cancer, but said it most likely was not, especially since I've had it for a long time. I don't know what she called it, but Reuben calls it my blue bobo.

Well, there I am with glasses... the pics weren't the best... so anyway... heh

Reuben is the best at having his picture made to look like he is on drugs.

Isn't he adorable!

This picture just makes me want to hug him up!

This is Reuben's classic pose. If you tell him to smile for the camera... there it is!

I really like this pic of me an Kathiryn... nowif I could figure out the redeye mess... Oh and there you can see my new haircut too.

Here's Uncle Marty. I feel so bad for him right now. His wife is going through her first week of basic training in the Air Force. He said she sounded horrible on her fisrt call hiome, but read something online about this kind of thing being forced. Like they have to sound scared or something. I don't know, but I hope she is doing ok.
Kathiryn went and got shots today. She is now 11pds12oz!! Which, I might add is very healthy! Here are some pics we took last night.

She looks so sweet!

I finally got that smile on camera! It is even better than that, and she has a dimple on one cheek.
Last I'll leave you with one that belongs on a greeting card...

I did not sleep last night

I am drinking coffee

I need a bath

The children's museum was great!

I think we'll have waffles at grandma's this morning.

goodnight

I'm getting glasses! they are kind of rectangle shaped... I'll have to post a pic when they come.

Reuben is hilarious. The other day at Frances's house she gave him a belt. It is white with a train on it. He thought it was stickers. He was so upset too that it wasn't stickers. so he said we should turn the belt over and put syrup on it to make stickers. lol

Kathiryn isn't resting very well during the day. She wants to be held so much, and my shoulder just isn't working. Well... I almost made it all day with out taking a pain pill... so things are getting better.

I'm finding myself nostalgic and craving board games.

I miss my husband.

I miss sharing the bed

I miss the bed

i miss holding my baby without fear of hurting her

I miss Reuben's smiles when i'm waiting for Kathiryns

Well, I was going to edit more, but I accidentily closed the program instead of the pic I was saving, so I got lazy... more to come soon.

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Well, the pill got rid of the headache... and it seemed to help my neck and shoulder stiffness, it did not make me drowsy... but more spacey. heh

In other news, I have stopped breastfeeding, and my boobs are engorged... they huuuuuurrrtt

Anyone ever hear of these drugs??

I'm taking one

for migraine

it says it will intoxicate me

we'll see

I need a break... I need some time where i'm not sick and am not on call. I think i'm having postpartum depression... but mostly becuase I just don't feel good and my joints alllll need to pop or something.

It has gotten to where at night when Kathiryn won't go to sleep but I can barely keep my eyes open... I cry... just a little though. I won't really let myself cry except when I watch Judging Amy.

I tell myself this is all temporary, but then again I don't want it to go by too fast either. It is so hard to divide my attention... I want to dote on my baby, but then I feel guilty about it if Reuben is in the room.

He is in love with baby sister one day and the next he wants to step on her! omg. I really wish my mom was here, but Grandma is doing a great job of helping me feel validated. I have a lot of help[ and I'm so glad for it too... but it makes me mad that I even need the help. I don't even need to write everything down... it is all mundane... and normal. i'm just tired. physically and mentally. I would love to go away for just a weekend. I think I will when we get some money... heh

HA

The thingy in my mouth is a cyst. The doc gave me a shot of stadol and something else... she said I had that stomach virus that was going around... I got to sleep for 24 hours staright... of course I had to pump and dump too... that was no fun... but the sleep was wonderful. So then last night the headache returned, but It seems to be gone right now. *crosses fingers*

I'm just glad that thing is a cyst.

and my children are beautiful.

my husband is the best.

My grandma is awesome.